The Dog gone girl is mine!
Michael Jackson is 50 today….WoW that doesnt sound right at all…
and all crazyness aside one of the best singer/song writers of all time ….
Thriller
Billy Jean
Startin’ Something
Smooth Criminal
Man in the mirror
Do you remember the time
Black and white
Beat it
Bad
Rock with you
The Girl is mine
Scream (W/Janet)
It’s truely amazing!
Personal top 5 songs
5)The Girl is mine (the dog gone girl is mine)
4) Smooth Criminal
3)Man in the mirror (in an attempt to be “hip” my catholic school played this at EVERY church service)
2)Thriller (any song with Vincent Price rapping is AWESOME)
1) Billy Jean (anybody that has seen me have too many drinks we.. Somethings are just AWESOMENESS)
Interweb’s and the Google’s
As you know WordPress has a feature that will let me see how people found my little fruit stand on the information super highway. what “key words” or “search terms were used. In the last 30 days this is how people have come to hear my sermons
The number’s are the amount of people that used that search term.
| dr muoka in kigali | 8 |  |
| dr muoka of rwanda | 4 | |
| spinning class | 4 | |
| dr muoka politician | 3 | |
| hand positions in spinning | 3 | |
| mustard sandwich | 3 | |
| gutr | 3 | |
| mustard recall | 2 | |
| sweaty exercise | 2 | |
| talula does the hula from hawaii | 2 | |
| gay hockey jersey | 2 | |
| fat guy with mustard | 1 | |
| eating disorders | 1 | |
| redneck hula girl | 1 | |
| sweaty person | 1 | |
| styker 10 meter radio, reviews | 1 | |
| 9 year old girl | 1 | |
| whore in church | 1 | |
| hot sweaty people funny pictures | 1 | |
| sweaty hard working men | 1 | |
| fat hula girl | 1 | |
| redneck girl | 1 | |
| mustard hair color | 1 | |
| 9 year old, girl | 1 | |
| nike victory achilles shoe | 1 | |
| talula does the hula | 1 | |
| 13 year old girls bare breasts pics | 1 | |
| zoom victory wide forefoot | 1 | |
| joy muoka of rwanda | 1 | |
| hula hawaii new zealand | 1 | |
| swingers rabat | 1 | |
| gold digger theme party | 1 | |
| hard work on a bike | 1 | |
| tired sweaty exercise | 1 | |
| stryker brand putters | 1 | |
| hula from hawaii | 1 | |
| gaysports | 1 | |
| 9yo girl | 1 | |
| 9+year+old+girl | 1 | |
| talula hula | 1 | |
| vivamaxxplus | 1 | |
| sweaty under sun | 1 | |
| i’m not okay | 1 | |
| sweating brains out | 1 | |
A few thoughts.
A) Chris Hanson Needs to get back to work “catching predators” There are 5 searches in there that could easily be construed as “child porn” . (And one person who searched for a “whore in Church”
B) 8 people came across my site searching for something relating to “sweat”
C) WTF is VivaMaxxPlus?! (I’m gonna go google that, Damn it it brought me back here!
So how did you find my Site?
True Grit
I apparently have some sort of obsession with Cell phones, and despite my barley contained rage in regards to ringtones or the utter disgust I feel when I am told there are more options after leaving my messgae. And although Cell phones cause me LOTS of stress and agitation, I love my cell phone.
I keep it by my side constantly, and honestly feel “naked” with out it. Well there is a small but growing group of Sanctimonious bastards who feel that it is their job, their right, and their duty to enforce “dead zones” by the use of Cell phone Jamming devices (about the size of a pack of smokes). Quotes from here
Gary, a therapist in Ohio who also declined to give his last name, citing the illegality of the devices, says jamming is necessary to do his job effectively. He runs group therapy sessions for sufferers of eating disorders. In one session, a woman’s confession was rudely interrupted.
“She was talking about sexual abuse,” Gary said. “Someone’s cellphone went off and they carried on a conversation.”
“There’s no etiquette,” he said. “It’s a pandemic.”
A Pandemic?!!??!?! Don’t you think your over stating that just slightly?
Investigators from the F.C.C. and VerizonWireless visited an upscale restaurant in Maryland over the last year, the restaurant owner said. The owner, who declined to be named, said he bought a powerful jammer for $1,000 because he was tired of his employees focusing on their phones rather than customers.
“I told them: put away your phones, put away your phones, put away your phones,” he said. They ignored him.
Here is an idea if your employees wont listen to you …. FIRE THEM !
These are 2 examples of the kind of self righteousness that is infecting American society. Americans have developed a sense of entitlement that is bad for all of us. Americans are starting to believe we have some God given right to have things go our way all the time. We are becoming a nation of whining baby’s.
If somebody is talking on their phone through a movie, that’s one thing, but at lunch, or on the bus. Get the F over yourself …..
And if you need further proof that you don’t want to be grouped with these people.
His reaction when he first discovered he could wield such power? “Oh, holy moly! Deliverance.”
Do you really want to be grouped in with the type of people that say “Holy moly” ….. I Did think so.
New Kicks! (Nike+ Zoom Victory)
Ahh Time for some new running shoes
To start a little history, I’m new to running, I started about 4 months ago. I run between 15 and 20 miles a week. I started out doing it to lose weight, but have found it to be an enjoyable “sport”.
I dont know about my gait I cant tell if I push off my inside toe, neutral or outside toe, but I do know that I land on the outside of my shoes (based on wear patterns).
I started out with the Addidas 1.1 “Smart” shoes (Full Review). Although a little heavy I wanted something that would be comfortable to run in, after 200 miles I have found these shoes too “hard” and found myself wanting something a little lighter.
After doing some research I came across the Victorys, since I have the Nike+ Ipod they sounded good, after trying them on I was instantly hooked by the soft “ride” they offered, I also appreciated the “wide” forefoot area as my biggest complaint with the Adidas was they were too narrow and would occasionally cause my foot to cramp if I laced them too tight
I have made 2 runs with the new Nikes and am extremely happy with the purchase I really didnt think I would notice a difference in the weight but it was noticeable almost instantly. Further the shoe seems to “flex” better or maybe more accurately more naturally as I run. The softer cushioning is a huge difference. Although the Adidas was supposed to “adjust” they constantly felt too hard, I am unsure if this is due to a defective shoe or just a difference between manufactures.
As I am new to running I dont have the vocabulary or the experience to fully express the differences, but I can say that I would highly recommend the Nikes, they are comfortable, and light, at 100 dollars not particularly expensive.
The one complaint/question I have is that the Heal Cup on the Nikes rubs against my Achilles in an uncomfortable manor. Last night I took them out for the first time and after 10k I had blisters on both feet. Today I was able to lesson the problem by wearing band aids, but I am curious … Is this something that I will develop clauses to protect me there or should I try something else?
Any advice would be greatly appreciated
I hope your alright….
One of the stats that “Word Press” gives me for my blog, is key words people used to search and find my little corner of the information super on ramp. Yesterday somebody clicked on my blog after searching for the words “I’m not ok”.
I have no way of knowing what you were searching for or what you found, but I hope that you find what it is that your searching for, and that you make it through what ever is making you “not ok”.
Spinning
Kim and I attended our first spinning class last night. I knew I was going to be in for some hard work, I’ve seen the classes before, and to be quiet honest I haven’t ridden a bike since I was about 10.
We arrived at the class about 15 min before hand and walked on the treadmills to warm our legs up, about 3 min before the class started we decided to head over and see what “spinning” was all about, as we came into the room I was introduced to a tiny little Nazi, who apparently was “teaching” the spinning class.
After selecting our bikes I proceeded to try and figure out how to adjust the thing, who the F designed this thing, you need a degree in mechanical engineering to set the damn thing up… Once I had adjusted about 15 different position settings I was all ready to go, then Ms Nazi comes over and informs me that I’m sitting on the bike wrong ?! I didn’t even know that was possible…
She adjusts my bike so now I can barley reach the bars …the seat is rammed into my crotch, and my feet cant reach the bottom of the peddles….Ahhhh Perfect.
We start by finding our anaerobic threshold, which for me; according to her was about 165 bpm…Then we start “spinning”. I should not at this point that although I’m not in GREAT shape, I have been working out for about 4 months can pretty easily do a 5K under 30 min, and a 10k in about an hr, not record breaking but not terrible…
About 10 min into the class I’m starting to sweat, by 20 min I wanna stab this little woman with her peppy voice and annoying music! My ass has never been in this kind of pain before, I don’t know who designed the seats for these bikes, but I am SURE it was not a man…
Just for fun I looked up the origin of the word “spinning” here is what I found ….
Spinning, V.; anguish, pain; from the Greek spinnia, meaning contest, struggle, ca.1386. The spiners in ancient Greece were the spectators at games like the Olympics.
Yep that about wraps it up, spinning is clearly some form of torture invented to punish those who had offended in some way.
Truth be told, I at the end I had burned 900 calories, my legs were burning, and my heart was pumping. It was an excellent work out and I plan on going back.
My final problem is … I don’t know how to do it right I was unable to stand up on the bike, ever time I tried to first I would stand up slamming the bike to a halt (and popping a rather cool wheelie, although I don’t think there is a spinning “stunt” division) then when I started pedaling again my knees would slam into my chest, so I sat for most of the class… not that it made much of a difference as tired as I was I would not have been able to stand for very long anyway.
(Truth section: the instructor was not a Nazi, she was a tiny little fire cracker though)
Sweat Gutr
I play goalie in hockey, I love the position, but one of the huge problems I have had is the fact that I sweat, I sweat like a whore in church. Ten min into a game there is copious amounts of sweat pouring out of every pore in my body. I wear under armor which mitigates the problem over most of my body, but there continued to be one problem. My helmet would dump massive amounts of sweat into my eyes.
For those that don’t know the standard set up for a mask is to have a piece of terry cloth wrapped foam velcrowed to the forehead section of the helmet. This works fine for a short period of time, but soon the sweatband is saturated and pouring into my eyes, stinging and blurring my vision.
I have tried a number of remedies, bandanna’s, squeezing out the sweat rag between plays, but the problem is that once the sweat band is saturated, it doesn’t absorb water very effectively, or it will become saturated, my helmet will be bumped and a large amount of sweat will be “dumped” into my face…
I was considering this problem about a week ago when I came across the “Sweat Gutr” a fairly simple product it is a plastic headband with a grooved slot that sits over the eyes…. a Gutter it directs sweat to the sides of the face and out of harms way…
When I first received the product I was a bit skeptical, it is made of a soft plastic with a “hair band” in the back to adjust size. I took it out of the packaging and sized the item on my head, my first impression was that this was not going to be comfortable, but my current set up was not working so I decided to give the Sweat Gutr a try.
My first impressions were how it did not seem to fit well with my helmet, I was concerned that it would not work, the gutr rested smack in the middle of my current sweat band (which I needed to continue to wear because of the velcro pads). With part of the sweat band hanging below the gutr, my assumption was that sweat would be absorbed by the sweat band and then drip into my face.
I was pleasantly surprised, after a few moments on the ice, I did not notice that I was still wearing it, after 20 min I had not had a sweat issue. By the end of the game I had not needed to wipe sweat from my eyes. When I got to the locker room I wrung out my sweat band and it was again saturated (as it usually is) confirming that the Sweat Gutr was responsible for keeping my eyes clear during the game.
This product works as advertised, my complaint would be that because its not made to fit under a hockey helmet (its actually intended for runners and cyclists) it was a bit ungainly to wear. Even though I did at times forget I was wearing it, it was noticeable (but not uncomfortable)….
I will continue to use the sweat gutr, but my search continues for something a little more suited to my specific needs.
The Mustard Sandwich
After having written these last few blogs and sharing them with a good friend of mine at work I started thinking about the things I was teased for in school, they made me feel inferior and worthless at the time, but now they seem so stupid and trivial, and who knows maybe it will help with the healing process to share them with you. All of the stories I am about to relay are 100% True.
1st off to recap, the one that started this was my mustard sandwich story; When I was in 2nd or 3rd grade I attended a Catholic grade school. During lent Catholics are supposed to abstain from eating meat on Fridays, well one Friday we were discussing this in my religion class, when to my horror I realized that I had a bologna sandwich?!?!?!!
Obviously my mother didn’t love me and was trying to trick me into going to hell for braking this corner stone of our faith! Well thinking quickly I covered my basses by taking the God offending bologna from my sandwich and flinging it in the trash can, (To this day I could walk you to the spot where the trash can was in the school) The wreched meat gone I proceeded to the lunchroom for nourishment before the 2 nd part of my educational day.
In the lunchroom is where my true horror began, no sooner had I began to eat my delicious bologna free sandwich then somebody asked me what I was eating, Proudly I informed him that it was my “Mustard” sandwich (white bread, and mustard if you would like the recipe) this was met with howling, SCREAMING laughter….. The laughing didn’t stop till lunch did…
That day I didn’t finish my mustard sandwich, I tossed it in the trash as I went to the bathroom to cry, yes I cried about a mustard sandwich….
You know its funny, as I try and recall the wrongs that were inflicted on me during high school, and to recall what it was that was so horrible that it for ever scared me, yet at the same time built my character, I’m finding it difficult to recall things that at time were earth shattering.
Of course there were the general “fat” or “dumb” jokes, I cant even remember anything specific from those. Maybe I was so self conscious about myself that I created these demons around me to explain the insecurity that I felt.
Or on a more pessimistic look, maybe these things were so horrible that I repressed them and have blocked them out of my consciousness only to be forced to revisit them after years of failed professional and personal relationships, and then, after hundreds of hours and thousands of dollars, only then will I remember the names and deeds of those who wronged me so many years ago and caused my life to spiral out of control.
Naa, I think it was the 1st one
If you aint no chump Holla “we want prenump!!!”
God Bless the craigs list …
Real, or Fake this is GREAT
What am I doing wrong?
Okay, I’m tired of beating around the bush. I’m a beautiful
(spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I’m articulate and classy.
I’m not from New York. I’m looking to get married to a guy who makes at
least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind
that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don’t think
I’m overreaching at all.
Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could
you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around
200 – 250. But that’s where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won’t get
me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married
to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she’s not as pretty as
I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I
get to her level?
Here are my questions specifically:
- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars,
restaurants, gyms
-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won’t hurt my
feelings
-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I’m 25)?
- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east
side so plain? I’ve seen really ‘plain jane’ boring types who have
nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I’ve seen drop dead
gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What’s the story
there?
- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows – lawyer, investment
banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they
hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?
- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for
MARRIAGE ONLY
Please hold your insults – I’m putting myself out there in an honest
way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I’m being up front
about it. I wouldn’t be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn’t
able to match them – in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a
nice home and hearth.
* it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or
other commercial interests
PostingID: 432279810
THE ANSWER
Dear Pers-431649184:
I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully
about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.
Firstly, I’m not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your
bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here’s how I
see it.
Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a
cr@ppy business deal. Here’s why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you
suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring
my money. Fine, simple. But here’s the rub, your looks will fade and my
money will likely continue into perpetuity…in fact, it is very likely
that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won’t
be getting any more beautiful!
So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning
asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation
accelerates! Let me explain, you’re 25 now and will likely stay pretty
hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in
earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!
So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy
and hold…hence the rub…marriage. It doesn’t make good business sense
to “buy you” (which is what you’re asking) so I’d rather lease. In case
you think I’m being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were
to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It’s
as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.
Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So,
I wonder why a girl as “articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful”
as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to
believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K
hasn’t found you, if not only for a tryout.
By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then
we wouldn’t need to have this difficult conversation.
With all that said, I must say you’re going about it the right way.
Classic “pump and dump.”
I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of
lease, let me know.
**********
MY ADVICE:
Dear Pers-431649184:
I also came across your posting with great interest. I am a 28 year old Wall Street trader who qualifies as an eligible suitor under your $500k/yr rule. In fact, I make over a million and can usher a woman into a comfortable, true middle class lifestyle (not like those 500k lower-middle class chumps who have to make do with the junior two-bedroom).
I am sympathetic to your goal in finding a rich man to marry. The milk needs to be sold by the expiration date. But since this is premium milk, why would you settle for less than premium prices? I would like to address some of the questions that were previously missed by the other gentleman and provide constructive advice on where to find your match.
I also do believe in the efficient market theory, and am surprised that $500k hasn’t found you yet. There are plenty of rich lawyers, investment bankers and hedgies to go around in this city. What gives? I think the problem might be that you have not been sufficiently focused in your search efforts.
The culprit, I believe, may be that you are also looking for qualities aside from money – such as looks, personality, and a sense of humor. However, men who have those qualities learn at an early age that they do not need money to attract quality women. As the saying goes, if you can get the milk for free, why pay up for the cow?
What you need to look for is someone who is long money, and short the other aspects. They are not easy to spot, since you are biologically wired to overlook and ignore them. However, the next time that you are at a expensive black tie event, and you are introduced to the short, bald, overweight man who fidgets nervously whilst making conversation with you, pay special attention to him.
Here’s an inspirational story for you. An acquaintance of mine who was also an classy and articulate woman as yourself was able to land that guy – who also happens to be one of the top ten guys at Google. This is the type of stuff that gold-digging moms read to their gold-digging daughters at bedtime. Perhaps you need to make a location change to Silicon Valley – miracles like these happen almost everyday in a land where you can randomly throw a rock and hit a rich nerd squarely in his Kim-jong Il glasses.
And as far as his deficiencies go, they turned out to be not so bad. With hundreds of millions in the bank, she’s been able to clean him up and give him a little sophistication. Think of it as a fixer-upper project with a massive budget (and yourself as a visionary real estate developer!). Although, I must warn you, it is a fine line you are flirting with – you must not overdo it lest he begins to attract younger women who are hotter than yourself. The trick is, you need build him up enough to be presentable, while simultaneously manipulate him into believing you are the best that he will ever do! That, botox and having kids will be your insurance against your depreciation (or as I prefer to use the term, milk going sour).
I wish the best of luck on your sales project. As for me, I am also available for a short-term lease. However, for marriage I wouldn’t consider a woman unless she can bring beauty, brains and self-motivation to the table. I do not want to dilute my gene pool and end up raising a bunch of Paris Hiltons.
